Post by Ki on Feb 8, 2010 18:23:42 GMT -6
"Cover my eyes
Cover my ears
Tell me these words
Are a lie"
Cover my ears
Tell me these words
Are a lie"
"You're lying.." Spottedsky said quietly. Her eyes were widened with horror. Sandcloud dipped her head ruefully. The black and white she-cat suddenly shoved past the medicine cat and into the den. Her nephew, her last living kin, was laying down. He was curled up and shivering violently. Suddenly she was aware of how small he looked, and how thin he had grown.
"It can't be true
That I'm losing you
The sun cannot fall from the sky"
That I'm losing you
The sun cannot fall from the sky"
She padded forwards and curled up beside him, letting her fur brush against his. Smallpaw's ears rose a bit in recognition. He opened one eye, his blue one, and smiled weakly at her. "Spottedsky...what did she say?" How shaky his voice was! There was a weak, defeated look glinting in his eyes. What happened to her excited, happy nephew? Who had put this thin, pale imitation in his place? "How soon am I going to be able to leave?"
It felt like someone had kicked her in the belly and stolen all the air from her lungs. She rasped her tongue over his ear and said, "It will be several suns before you're well enough to leave the medicine cat den."
"Can you hear the heavens cry?
The tears of an angel..."
The tears of an angel..."
Her nephew was silent, a sudden smile playing on to his face. "No...I mean...how long will it be before I die? Before I can join StarC-" Smallpaw's own body betrayed him again. He began coughing violently once more. Spottedsky's ears flattened against her head as Sandcloud rushed in to tend to him. There was remorse and sorrow in her eyes. This couldn't be happening! Not again! Ravenflight, Snowkit, Crowkit, Smudgeclaw...why must everything she love be snatched away from her?!
"The tears of an angel..."
The cough, though very violent, subsided in its own in a few moments time. Sandcloud looked at Smallpaw warily. But he smiled and flicked his tail to show he would be alright. The medicine cat reluctantly padded out again, leaving aunt and nephew to speak to one another in private. Neither cat spoke, however. Spottedsky started to groom him, just as she had when he was born. Usually he would resist her attempts, as he was now the oldest apprentice in SkyClan. But Smallpaw had neither the energy or the want to shun her away.
"You never answered my question, Spottedsky." he said quietly.
Spottedsky flinched. "You aren't going to join StarClan." she mewed firmly. It was a statement rent to reassure both her nephew and herself.
"Tears of an angel..."
Smallpaw chortled weakly. He turned his head around to meet his aunt's amber gaze. "I know I am..."
"No," she murmured quietly, "no you aren't."
"The tears of an angel.."
Throughout the day Smallpaw had received many visitors. They weren't allowed to stay for long periods of time, due to his failing energy. But Spottedsky could see just how much it meant for his Clanmates to visit him. Lilyfur came more than once, nuzzling and licking him affectionately. There was deep sadness in her eyes. So much that it smothered the tiny speck of hope that maybe, just maybe, he would recover. Eventually Adderstar must have given her permission to take the day off, as she did not leave after sunhigh. Creamfoot came, cracking jokes and telling stories. Smallpaw seem revitalized by her visit and met all of his friends with renewed energy. Other cats came by as well. Queens with kits that Smallpaw had often entertained. Warriors, young and old. Apprentices he shared the den with. As the day wore on Smallpaw's energy failed him again, and he lay there meek and quiet until sundown.
"Stop ever clock
The stars are in shock
The river won't run to the sea"
The stars are in shock
The river won't run to the sea"
"Adderstar." he mewed suddenly. "Go get him. Please?"
Lilyfur, Sandcloud, and Spottedsky looked to each other to see who would leave. Each could smell that odd, sickly sweet odor coming from Smallpaw. It meant that the sickness was sinking its claws deeper and deeper into him. Getting closer and closer to piercing his heart. None of them wanted to abandon him now.
"Please." he mewed again.
Spottedsky, driven by a sudden urge to be on her own, for a few fleeting moments at least, rose to her paws. She padded out of the medicine cat den and into the heart of the camp. Adderstar was speaking with Brookysky about something. All conversation ceased when Spottedsky approached, however. Had they been discussing Smallpaw?
"Spottedsky," Brooksky mewed, dipping her head politely.
Spottedsky returned the favor, then looked to her leader. "Adderstar...Smallpaw. He wants to see you." With that she turned and began to pad back towards the den. Soft footfalls behind her told that the leader was following. Spottedsky glanced towards the warriors' den and saw Mothpelt. He was sitting at the entrance, watching her. The two had been somewhat drawn back together by the death of their only kit. But as soon as Smallpaw had fallen ill, he'd tried to stay out of her way. Perhaps he didn't want to risk another argument? Tearing her eyes away from him, she walked back into the den. Lilyfur was fussing over Smallpaw now.
"Look at your fur! I don't know how you manage to get it so dirty sometimes, love." Lilyfur mewed in astonishment. Smallpaw chuckled in response and flicked his tail. All conversation ceased, however, when their leader padded in. Smallpaw's different colored eyes lit up.
"Spottedsky said you wanted a word." Adderstar spoke politely, as if to a senior warrior instead of a dying apprentice. Well, to be fair, under normal circumstances Smallpaw would have been a warrior long ago.
Smallpaw nodded his head a bit. "I know I'm dying, Adderstar. I can feel it." He felt Lilyfur tense beside him, and felt dismay. He would have to leave them all behind very soon. "But...I don't want to meet my father and mother as an apprentice. I want to meet them as a warrior." It was the first demand he'd ever made in his life. And it made Spottedsky's fur bristle.
Her nephew was her last living kin. She had no one left. She'd outlived her mother and father, her brother, her own son! How could StarClan take them all away from her? Spottedsky saw similar emotions running through Lilyfur's eyes. Sorrow, anger, and bitter helplessness. If only they could stop it from happening. Just to keep him there.
"I won't let you fly
No, I won't say goodbye
I won't let you slip away from me"
No, I won't say goodbye
I won't let you slip away from me"
At that moment Ravenfeather entered for probably the third or fourth time that day. There was a fat bird in her mouth, most likely intended for Smallpaw. She saw Adderstar and set the bird down, her eyes full of questioning.
"...Ravenfeather, do you believe Smallpaw is ready to be made a warrior?" Adderstar asked, not turning to look at her.
Ravenfeather was startled by the question, and was about to argue that her apprentice was in no state to become a warrior. But then she saw Smallpaw's eyes glean with hope and longing. How long he had waited and worked! And now he was being wrenched from life. Suddenly realizing that this was his last chance to become a warrior, Ravenfeather dipped her head. "Yes, Adderstar. I believe he is ready."
xxxx
"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Rockpile for a Clan meeting!" Adderstar yowled, leaping on to the boulders with ease. Spottedsky and Ravenfeather had helped Smallpaw over, since whenever he walked his legs trembled ominously beneath him. Lilyfur was sitting beside him now, beaming with pride. But sadness still clouded her eyes.
"Can you hear the heavens cry?
The tears of an angel.."
The tears of an angel.."
The cats padded over in a steady stream, their eyes bright with curiousity. Many spotted Smallpaw and began to murmur amongst themselves. Lilyfur glared reproachfully at them. They all thought him to be crowfood, she knew. But he had some strength in him yet. Strength enough to fufill his final wish, his life's dream.
"I, Adderstar, leader of SkyClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice." Adderstar dove quickly into the ceremony, as if he was afraid Smallpaw would drop dead any moment now. The cats looked towards him, suddenly falling silent.
"Tears of an angel.."
"He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn." Adderstar continued. His gaze suddenly turned towards Smallpaw. He was standing on his own now, still trembling. But Spottedsky, Ravenfeather, Sandcloud, and Lilyfur were hovering behind him. Just in case. A few other cats looked ready to spring and catch him should he topple as well, their eyes wide. Why was Adderstar having this ceremony now, of all times? "Smallpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to...protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"
All the cats looked at each other. Smallpaw wouldn't live to protect and defend his Clan.
"Tears if an angel..."
"I do." Smallpaw replied. He coughed a bit after speaking, and his voice sounded raspy and itchy. As if he'd been holding the cough in.
"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior name." Adderstar proclaimed. He met Smallpaw's eyes. "Smallpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Smallfoot. StarClan honors your dedication and kindness, and we welcome you as a full member of SkyClan." Adderstar jumped down and rested his muzzle on Smallfoot's head. Smallpaw licked his shoulder in return and mewed quietly, "Thank you, Adderstar. Now I can die in peace."
"Tears of an angel.."
Adderstar sighed. But deep down, all of the cats knew his time had come.
Smallfoot insisted on sleeping outside of the medicine cat den that evening. It was a warm greenleaf night anyways. And it was clear from the glassy, tired look in his eyes it wouldn't do much more harm. Spottedsky and Lilyfur stayed out with him. Not speaking, only laying beside him. Smallfoot tried to stay awake, but fell asleep around moonhigh. Spottedsky occupied her time by watching the clouds roll in after sundown, blocking out the stars. It began to rain lightly shortly after Smallfoot fell asleep. To his aunt and to his mate, it seemed like StarClan themselves were crying.
"So hold on
Be strong"
Be strong"
Spottedsky looked at Smallfoot, his flanks rising and falling in an odd pattern. It didn't seem like he was breathing correctly. Wasn't that what Sandcloud had said? That something was wrong with his breathing? Whatever it was, she couldn't fix it. Spottedsky remembered taking care of him and his brother, Crowkit. And feeling the sorrow and the utter sense of failure when little Crowkit had somehow tumbled to his untimely death. And Smallfoot had been sickly and meek. He seemed to waver back and forth between strong and healthy and fragile and sickly. Yet she'd never given up. Neither of them had.
"Everyday, hope will grow"
At that moment she nuzzled her nephew, pressing her nose into his mildly wet fur. He'd always liked a little light rain. He said it was refreshing. Even as a kit. Unless it was a thunder storm. Then he would curl up next to his aunt and hide until the cats of StarClan stopped yowling and ripping the sky open with their claws.
"I'm here,
Don't you fear
Little one, don't let go!"
Don't you fear
Little one, don't let go!"
Lilyfur raised her head at Spottedsky's movement. Suddenly her eyes widened, for she had spotted what her mate's aunt had not: he was no longer breathing. Instead he lay quiet, and looking slightly deflated. She knew Smallfoot was no longer there. Sadness tore at her heart, along with the secret that was now stirring in her belly. Suddenly she let out a mournful yowl that ripped through the night like thunder. Spottedsky noticed this, now, and bowed her head in sorrow.
"Cover my eyes...
Cover my ears...
Tell me these words
Are all lies..."
Cover my ears...
Tell me these words
Are all lies..."
Sorry if anyone is angry at me for using their characters. They all belong to their respectable creators/RPers, who will hopefully not kill me for using their kitties. Oh, the song was Tears of An Angel by Ryandan.