Getting Ready for Bedtime

[froststream]

Tawnykit felt exhaustion starting to tingle through her fur, replacing the tight sadness and wonder. She walked through the dark nursery, listening to her soft, muffled pawsteps. There was enough moonlight for Tawnykit to see Poppyfrost and the rest of the surviving litter. Four kits. One brown, one grey, one black and one white. She felt a strange feeling in her chest as she padded behind Poppyfrost to get to her nest. It was empty now, but Duskkit and her mother were right behind her.

Tawnykit paused to peer at Poppyfrost. Her head was slumped forwards, like she was sleeping, but her ears were bent backwards as she listened to Tawnykit get ready for bed. Tawnykit padded quietly until she was looking vaguely over Poppyfrost's shoulder. Poppyfrost turned at this moment, and Tawnykit barely averted her gaze in time. She felt Poppyfrost's eyes boring into her back as she struggled to groom her soft, wispy fur.

"Could you help me?" Tawnykit asked Duskkit through a mouthful of calico fur.

[Ki]

Duskkit padded in behind her sister. She looked over at Poppyfrost and her little kits. Well...at least the rest were healthy. That was a good thing, wasn't it? The sight of the new kits reminded Duskkit of her question: Was there a still-born kit in their litter? She glanced back at Paleflower to ask, but decided against it. Not in front of Poppyfrost. So the kit turned to her sister and mewed quietly, "Sure." She sat down beside her sister and began to lick her calico fur. Secretly Duskkit envied Tawnykit's pelt and long legs. Yes, she herself was pretty. But she wasn't pretty like Tawnykit was. And she was so smart! Her sister seemed to know a great bit about herbs, healing, and the like.

"You're gonna be medicine cat one day." Duskkit purred to her sister, pausing for a moment. That thought made her heart swell with pride. Her sister, a future medicine cat! She looked towards Paleflower. "Don't you think so too?"

[froststream]

"Thanks," Tawnykit said, once her fur was smoothed out and untangled. She looked at her sister, Duskkit's eyes brimming with care, curiosity and pride. Why couldn't she be like that? Duskkit hopped around camp talking, playing and laughing. She is everything that I am not, Tawnykit thought wistfully. Tawnykit sat down, her tail curled around her paws, head bent. "I don't see how I can ever become anything else," she said sadly. "I'd like to become one. I would, really, but how do I even have a choice?" She looked down at her thin, slight body. "I'll never even be strong enough to get out of the nursery."

She was convinced this was true. She was so frail and small that sometimes even wrestling and playfighting with her gentle sister caused a wound or her becoming winded. Her sister was strong, and she could do anything. All Tawnykit could do was sulk in the backround, wishing and hoping. "I wish there was an herb for growing," she muttered. She raised her head, shook it, and put a weak smile on. "Would you like some help with your fur?" she asked.

She loved grooming Duskkit's thick fur. It was easy to maintain, glossy and beautiful. Duskkit, Tawnykit decided was fortunate enough to have Paleflower's grey and silver colouring. Tawnykit, on the other hand, had some other cat's ginger, fair and white colour. She didn't even know who her father was. Come to think of it, she couldn't really think of that many Ginger & White cats in the Clan. So... Who was she? A loner's daughter.... A rogue's daughter... Or worse, was she a half Clan kit? That would mean Duskkit was one, too, but she had been blessed with the gift of grey fur, confidence and beauty. Tawnykit, though she bore bore beauty, too, had the colouring of the misfit. Who am I? I am Tawnykit. What am I? I am nothing. But yes, I am something. I am the wind.

"I am the wind," Tawnykit murmured, then quickly looked up. "So, would you like that grooming I mentioned before?""

[Ki]

"Oh, don't say that." Duskkit said sternly. She nudged her sister. "You're very strong. And in two moons we'll both be apprentices. Though you'll be Littlebird's apprentice." Duskkit believed this with all of her being. She knew her sister could become a great medicine cat. Duskkit gave her littlermate an affectionate lick.

She really wasn't sure of her own path. She expected she would become a warrior. Who knew if that would suit her, though? Duskkit had heard her mother telling another queen that raising kits suited her. This brought about endless questions. If Paleflower liked raising kits so much, why did Duskkit sometimes get the feeling that her mother didn't like her? Maybe she was just sensitive. Whenever her mother hissed at her to stop acting questions, it hurt a lot for some reason. Perhaps she was too soft to be a warrior...

"Oh? Uh, sure. Thanks." Duskkit replied cheerfully, finally remembering her sister's offer. She swished her fluffy silver and grey tail, then looked at Tawnykit. Duskkit had her mother's coloring, but what about Tawykit? There were features that Duskkit herself lacked. Like Paleflower and Tawnykit's elegantly long legs. It made her wonder about who her father was. As far as she could tell, no toms looked a lot like Tawnykit or herself. Though Duskkit didn't dare ask who he was. She was afraid she'd be a half-Clan cat. Duskkit wanted to be pure ShadowClan, nothing else. She wanted to be a cat that her Clan could be proud of. "Hm...Tawnykit? What do you think our warrior names will be?" Duskkit personally hoped for something as pretty as Paleflower.

[froststream]

Tawnykit finished smoothing down a few strands of grey fur. She felt fresh, not exactly sleepy, but notexactly energetic. These were the times she loved talking with Duskkit. The two had a strong bond, and Tawnykit never tired of hearing her sister's bright and interesting ideas. Their mother was currently talking with Poppyfrost, one of her best friends. Tawnykit liked this, too, because the two queens could talk for long times, and the two kits could curl up together, the whole nest to themselves.

Tawnykit pranced over the edge of the nest she curld under an overhang of fresh, clean moss, and tucked her small paws under her. She flicked her tail to ask Duskkit to join her.

"I don't know," she said thoughtfully. "I guess I'd like to be called Tawnywind, because I like the sound of wind and I like to run. I wish I could be as fast as the wind. Then I could go anywhere. I could whistle through the trees faster than a clumsy ThunderClan cat, glide over the water swifter than the strongest swimmer in RiverClan, and fly through the moors faster than any WindClan cat could ever run."

She took a breath and frowned, deep in concentration. "I don't know what yours would be. Maybe Duskflower or Duskheart because you're kind and nice. Or Duskpelt because your fur is the colour of the sky at dusk. Or maybe Duskfeather, because your fur is so long and soft. What do you think?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paleflower stood next to Poppyfrost, watching the tiny, soft bundles squirming, nursing and sleeping.

"I remember when Duskkit and Tawnykit were this size," she purred fondly. "Enjoy it. You worry less, because they're not running around camp. They're calm and quiet. But you also have to be attentive because a lot of things can go wrong."

Seeing Poppyfrost's suddenly worried face, she said gently, "But don't worry. They're all healthy now, and they'll only get stronger."

Paleflower looked over into the nursery corner where her kits were now talking and grooming. She was so proud of them, taking care of one another. It seemed like yesterday they were nursing and sleeping at her side every second. Now they were out running, playing and learning. That was sort of a relief, but now that apprenticeship was only two moons away, they seemed to be growing so fast.

[Ki]

Duskkit padded over to join her sister. Tawnykit was her best friend. She loved her sister dearly. Duskkit couldn't wait to fight with her to protect the Clan and go to Gatherings with her. Duskkit set her head over her paws and tucked her fluffy tail around herself daintily. "Ooh, Tawnywind is pretty. It fits you, too." Tawnywind. Yes, that was a good name. Duskkit listened to the suggestions for her own warrior name, but found none of them really fit who she was. But when Duskkit tried to imagine her own name, she drew a blank. Duskkit flicked her tail in annoyance.

"Hm...I dunno." She tried to think of something she liked. Tawnykit loved to run. She wanted to be like the wind, fast and free. Gentle and, at times, fierce. "I want a warrior name that describes who I am. But...I'm not sure just exactly who I am yet." That was a puzzler, wasn't it? The ultimate question. Duskkit licked one of her own paws as she thought of this. "I'm sure Specklestar will give us both wonderful names, when our time comes." Duskkit purred with confidence. The lovely little kit lay her head down again.

No matter what happened, Duskkit wanted to become a cat her Clan could be proud of. A cat that Paleflower and Tawnykit would be happy to call their kin. "Tawnykit, we'll always be best friends, right? Even when we're both elders and we can't even see each other properly?"

[froststream]

Tawnykit inched over to Duskkit and layed her small head on top of her sister's.

"Of course, silly," Tawnykit said, seriously. "I am your sister, just as you are mine. Nothing can change that. Not Mommy, not you, not me, not even Specklestar or StarClan." She stopped, her pretty eyes clouded with concentration. "You are me, as I am you. Our sight, hearing or even our health cannot change that. Even if I'm on the tallest mountain and you in the deepest valley, we'll always be together."

Tawnykit shifted herself until she was laying parallel to her sister, both breathing in the same rythem. Paleflower was still talking, talking, talking... Tawnykit was glad. She wanted some sister time.

Tawnykit sighed. She inhaled her sister's soft scent, thinking if al the things they had in their future. The hardships and the trials wouldn't etch themselves on their friendship, because they were too strong. Tawnykit suddenly felt like crying. "I love you," she said emotionally. "I love you to the moon, and back."

[sparkydorian]

Ambertail padded past the nursery on her way back into camp and saw the two little kits going to sleep. She smiled to herself, slightly saddened at the same time. She had never had that close bond of kinship, so she had been doing things alone for most of her life. Her mother and her father had had her at an unusually old age, and they were both in Starclan now. She felt a pang of loneliness, but Duskkit and Tawnykit were very sweet, and it cheered her up slightly.

[Ki]

Duskkit purred at Tawnykit's response. It made her happy to know that no one-Not even the cats of StarClan-would ever be able to interfere with the friendship she had with her sister. She licked her sister again, her purr deepening and growing louder. "And I love you to the moon and back. No matter what, we'll always be together." It had occurred to Duskkit tghat if her sister took the route of medicine cat, they wouldn't be together. They would constantly be on different paths.

Duskkit saw Ambertail peeking in and mewed a soft good night. She remembered when she'd first stumbled out of the nursery, she didn't recognized hardly anyone. Littlebird was the only cat besides Paleflower and Tawnykit that Duskkit had known. But now Duskkit could name every cat and their distinct scent. Yet, once again, she didn't resemble any other Clan cats. "Tawnykit, do you ever wonder who our papa was?"

[froststream]

Paleflower padded over to her kits. They were neatly groomed, sweet looking and calm. Their was a sharp pain in her foot, and it was irratating her. She had stepped on a thorn a few days ago, but had gotten it out on her own. It hadn't really hurt until now. Paleflower thought it could be infected.

"Kits," she said softly. "I just have to got to the medicine cat's den and get some Alder," she mewed quietly. She knew her way around with herbs and experience to know which ones helped and prevented infection. "I'll be back in just a little while. Now, be quiet, and don't bother Poppyfrost."

Paleflower looked back at the black she cat who was now sleeping. She licked each of her kits tenderly and said, "I love you two."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tawnykit flicked her tail to show Duskkit to stay quiet. But, then again, her sister was smart enough to know that and the two could almost sense what the other was feeling.

"Yes, Momma," Tawnykit said reflexively. "And don't use Alder. Use some Horsetail, it won't keep you awake."

As Palelfower left the nursery, Tawnykit turned to Duskkit. "I do wonder," she said honestly. "Sometimes I try not to, but I can't help wondering. Momma doesn't want to tell. I asked her once, a while ago, if Daddy would ever like to meet us and she told me to hush."

Tawnykit frowned. "I want to know. I want to know if he was good or bad, and if we act or think like him." Suddenly, Tawnykit gasped. "What if he comes and wants to take us away? What if he thinks that we're his?" Her imagination was wild, but she was genuinely serious and frightened now.

[Ki]

Duskkit, who knew perfectly well what her sister meant, stayed quiet until her mother had gone. She looked back at her sister. "But...where would he takes us to?" Duskkit, once again, wondered if they were half-Clan kits. What if they were? What if their father saw them at a Gathering in the distant future and demanded that they be a part of his Clan? Or even sooner than that? What if a patrol of ThunderClan, or RiverClan, or WindClan cats came in demanding Duskkit and Tawnykit? "I don't want to live anywhere else!"

[froststream]

"Neither do I," Tawnykit said. "So, you know what, you become the best fighter and I'll become the best healer, and then not even he will be able to tell us what to do."

Tawnykit nuzzled her sister's head. "But I'll always protect you. And so will Mommy."

She did feel a bit iffy about that. Her mother was constantly telling her to be social and sophisticated. Some cats were intrigued by Tawnykit's intensity, while others were repulsed. Yet it was undeniable she loved them both. "And our Clan loves us too much to give us up,
she said, trying to convince herself. "In the end, it's our choice. If he tries to tear us away literally, we'll run away, or something, and come back when he's gone. You're the best at Hide-And-Seek, and I'm a fast runner. Nobody will catch us. We know our way around our territory better than he does, even if we haven't left camp. It's ShadowClan instinct."

Tawnykit, though a bit reassured, still felt jumpy and scared. Here in the safe nursery, even a tiny whistle of insects outside made her think of intruders. "The Gathering Patrol will be home soon, and they'll protect us. Until then, we can just curl up together here and protect each other while Momma's gone."

The big nest felt empty, and Tawnykit was scared. She yanked up a bit of moss and curled around her sister.

[Ki]

Duskkit nodded, trying to force herself to believe her sister's words. Her Clan loved her, right? Yes. Of course. Most of them acted as if they liked her. Even if her constant questions got irritating. And if their father, rogue or Clan cat, did come calling her Clan wouldn't give them up. They were born ShadowClan and they would be raised in ShadowClan.

"You're right." Duskkit agreed quietly, licking her sister. She wasn't quite sure whether she was trying to soothe Tawnykit or herself, however. Oh well. "He'll never catch you. You're like lightning. You're there one second then gone the next!" Duskkit was also talented at hiding. Not the best warrior skill, unless you were hunting or wanted to spy. She was also strong. Sturdy, almost. It seemed while they were in the womb Tawnykit had gotten speed while Duskkit had gotten strength.

[froststream]

Tawnykit purred. "Thank you," she said. She was feeling better. "Either way, like I said, nothing can tear us apart."

Tawnykit rolled onto her back. Through the small cracks in the brambles she could see brilliant stars shining in the inky sky. "Tomorrow, we'll spend all day together, playing," she decided. She loved her sister more now than ever before. She didn't exactly feel tired, even now. Look at the stars," she purred. Suddenly, there was a small streak of pale yellow and white in the sky. "A shooting star!" she squealed loudly. "Did you see that, Duskkit?"

She felt that maybe that was StarClan's input on their conversation. Whether it was anger or approval, Tawnykit didn't care. She had her opinion, and she was too stubborn to change it. Poppyfrost, awakened, looked sleepily at the kits, but there was a smile on her lips. She fell back asleep.

[Ki]

"I saw it!" Duskkit whisper excitedly. StarClan had shown them a sign! "What do you think it means? Do you think they're happy with us? Or...maybe they're mad. Maybe they're saying we should be going asleep." She certainly hoped not! Duskkit felt very much awake. She lay beside her sister, also on her back. These conversations with Tawnykit were always the ones she looked forward to most. Oddly enough, Duskkit rarely felt the urge to question Tawnykit like she did the other cats. Maybe it was because Tawnykit was like her: young, unknowing. Well...she knew a lot about herbs, at least.

"We can play tag tomorrow." Duskkit purred. "And we can pretend we're warriors!" Duskkit marveled at all the stars in the sky. All of those cats were watching them. Protecting them. How in the world could their mystery father try to take them, when they had all of StarClan on their side? Duskkit and her sister were born ShadowClan. That must be where they were supposed to be. "Why do you think StarClan loves us so, Tawnykit? What did we do to earn their love?"

It was still amazing to Duskkit that StarClan loved her. All of those cats cared about her? What she had done that was so special? All she did was play with Tawnykit and ask questions. She wasn't a brave warrior. (yet) She wasn't a future medicine cat, like Tawnykit. What made StarClan love her? Love all the cats, no matter how small or big? How good or evil?