Ache [Silverleaf & Lionstripe]

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Silverleaf was not herself.

Silverleaf was tired of grieving. Tired of missing him. Just so tired. She felt like she hadn't smiled a genuine smile for over... fifteen moons? Had it really been so long? Her heart ached to think that so many seasons had already passed since she stopped being whole. Wasn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Why hadn't it healed hers? Even now, after eighteen moons of grief, she still heard his voice every now and then and she still felt the icy grip of her bereavement whenever she woke up and realised there was nobody beside her.

I want to feel something!

If only she could find some way of feeling something, anything except sadness! She wanted... wanted something to make her breathe again. To make her think she had something to look forward to except her own death. She wanted to forget everything, even if it was just for a while. A moment's rest from her burden. A moment where she felt excitement and heat again, no matter how much of a charade it was. As her paws moved mechanically through the forest, Silverleaf felt herself grow warm. She knew what she wanted today.

She raised her pale eyes as something started to burn in their depths, giving her a wild gleam and an uncharacteristically unfocused expression. Her mind was not her own today. She felt the muscles in her mouth grow tight when her gaze settled on a fire-red pelt, lithe and sleek and masculine. Lionstripe.

Silverleaf's nostrils flared and she sped up to move alongside him, not one moment wasted in hesitation. Her own silver pelt pressed into his and she nudged him aside, almost roughly directing both of them away from the patrol and into a secluded spot.

Silverleaf knew what she wanted today.

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[Kitty]

A normal old day, on a normal old patrol, in his normal old life. That was what Lionstripe was doing at the moment, and although it was necessary, and the tom usually didn't mind it, today was different. For some reason, today Lionstripe wasn't feeling up to patrols, like he was supposed to be waiting for something but had no idea what. It was overall a frustrating feeling.

Lionstripe stopped paying much attention to his surroundings. There was rarely any dangers on the borders, save for the occasional fox or badger and maybe the odd loner or kittypet. Warriors tended to slack off a bit sometimes as a result of this, and while Lionstripe usually wasn't among them, today he wasn't feeling like his usual self. Maybe he was coming down with something. He should stop by the medicine den and ask his sister about it once the patrol returned to the SkyClan camp. He hadn't been sick in a long time, so he wasn't really sure what it felt like.

Suddenly the ground rustled behind him, and Lionstripe snapped to attention and whipped his head around in time to see Silverleaf catch up to him from her usual place in the rear of the patrol. His amber eyes stared in mild confusion for a moment and then he felt himself being bumped sideways, falling into the bushes. Wow, she was stronger than the tom had expected. The ginger warrior sat up crossly from his new position in a small clearing on the other side of the bushes. "Hey, what was that f-" he began, but then noticed the look in Silverleaf's eyes. This was something new. Instead of the usual emotion they bore, an uncharacteristically detached expression took its place.

Lionstripe studied her critically, that earlier feeling resurfacing, that one where he felt like he was waiting for something, the one where he didn't feel himself, as he looked over the pretty silver she-cat. How odd. She looked like she...wanted something.

[:c a i:]

Silverleaf breathed hard and eyed Lionstripe as if he were a piece of prey that had caught her eye and she was deciding how best to catch it. She moved in again, pressing her fur against his forcefully and breathing in his scent. Her head swam. What was she doing? Acting so strangely... She was going to get in trouble... She should stop this... But she just wanted to forget everything. Why couldn't she have fun in the here and now? No point thinking about the future. No point thinking about the past.

Don't think. Don't worry. Just do it. The devil on her shoulder whispered, reminding her of how long it had been for her. Rainfur had died so many moons ago. Why shouldn't she move on? She needed to. Lionstripe could help her move on. She just wanted a bit of his time. A bit of comfort with another cat. What was so wrong about that? She licked his fur seductively, twining her tail with his. No turning back now...

"Just for a moment." She whispered raggedly. "Just for now. I don't care what happens after. Just help me for now."

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