Amazed

[Ki]

Every time our eyes meet

A tall, solid gray apprentice was padding through the moors with two companions. The sun, though not very high in the sky, was warming his fur as he walked. The humidity made him want to roll in a puddle to cool down. But, other than that, he was content. Of course he didn't show it. Instead he kept that same bored, thoughtful expression on his face. Occasionally his dark green eyes would flicker to a bird flying overhead or to follow the movement of what was most likely a rabbit hopping through the grass. He kept pace easily with his smaller companion, Mousepaw. Smokepaw's long, careful strides could easily keep pace with her shorter, quicker steps. There had been another cat with them. Thymepaw. But Smokepaw hadn't bothered to look back to see if he was still there. No, Mousepaw was his priority right now.

This feeling inside me is almost more than I can take

Mousepaw...well...she confused him. Greatly, in fact. Something about her...well, it downright stumped him. He found himself drawn to her with a sort of odd fasincation. It was in the way she always spoke her mind. Or in the way that she always seemed to keep one paw over the imaginary line between being an obedient apprentice and being a reckless little scamp. He'd always been a bit of Mousepaw's friend. They weren't tremendously close. But Smokepaw had always counted her as a friend. He knew that she counted him as a friend, at least. She cared about him enough to invite him to sit with her whenever she ate fresh-kill, or when they were kits to invite him into a game of moss ball. Usually Smokepaw declined invitations. But it was nice to be asked.

Baby when you touch me I can feel how much you love me

They reached the old badger set. Once upon a time, when the badger's set still lingered if only slightly, apprentices were brought here to learn the scent of badger. Now the scent had faded over time, and it was a place for hunting and exploration. Smokepaw stuck his gray snout into the darkness of the set and sniffed. No cats had been there recently. Not since last night, at least. He looked at Mousepaw. This had been her idea, of course. Smokepaw hadn't cared where they'd gone. Let Mousepaw lead the way. He was content to sit back and relax just a bit.

And it just blows me away

A low sound that was probably a mix between a grunt and a purr came from within Smokepaw's throat. There were rabbits hidden in that darkness. He could smell them. But he'd never hunted in that sort of pitch blackness before. It would be a new challenge for him. Smokepaw's eyes turned towards Mousepaw again. He flicked his tail in a silent question. Why had they come to the badger set? Was it simply on a whim, or had she had an idea?

I've never been this close to anyone or anything

Smokepaw blinked at Mousepaw. Yes, she definitely confused him. Cats often did. He always thought it was his lack of a mother that brought on his skyness. Sure, he'd had a foster mother that let him nurse with her kits. There had been a bond there. But from an early age he had known that she was not his mother. The kits he curled up in the nest with were not his siblings. No, if he wanted to see his mother or his siblings he would have to outside and stare up at the night sky. That was where his family lay. When he was a kit he hoped that his father would step forward. He never did. So in his then young, naive mind he'd made up reasons why. Perhaps his father was struggling with some deep dark secret that would put him at risk. Or maybe his father was a loner that traveled and helped cats that couldn't fed for themselves. The most ridiculous one, probably one his foster mother had fed him, was that his father was an ancident StarClan cat. And when his mother had given birth, he'd taken his mother and siblings back up to StarClan with him.

But that always left the question: why didn't he take me too?

I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams..

Lyrics: Amazed by Lonestar

[spike]

Without you, the ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows

The tabby kept jumping ahead then falling behind her gray furred companion. The prance to her step was very lively and she was beaming with enthusiasm this particular day. She did not speak, a rare treat for Smokepaw, but she did seem to be oddly giddy which was not actually her normal personality. Maybe it was the new breeze in the air or the change of weather. No, the honest reason was standing beside her. She kept shooting glances over at him, hopeful that eye contact could be made. Would she see him look at her? Every time she looked she was disappointed with a "no" to that question. She was a bit confused at the moment, a bit uncertain, and a bit fearful of what was coming over her.

She had known Smokekit since he was born, practically. The three-moon-old kit that sat under Silver Pelt questioning why he of all his siblings was left behind. Then five-moon-old Mousekit explaining to him that there was a purpose left for him. Those were the days that they were friends and they had no real wisdom. But now they were growing up and Smokepaw, though only nine moons now, was quite the handsome tom. Mousepaw had always been confused about emotions, enver actually understanding her own for a long time. However, after talking with him a few sunrises back, she now realized that he was the closest thing she had to a best friend. He listened even when he did not answer and they had history together. He was her shining star in this moment of darkness.

Without you, the seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play[/i]

Yes, a moment of darkness. She had only been feeling worse these past few days and she still felt overly guilty about disobeying Smallnose. So all of this mixed into one meant it was a bad time for this bubbly she-cat. She kept going even when he slowed down but it only took a few steps before she turned around and saw him halted in front of the abandoned badger's den. She sat down and motioned for him to continue. She, too, had scented the rabbits nearby but she had let it go. Smokepaw, wanting to hunt? Well, she wouldn't deny the opportunity to see it.

But what Mousepaw really wanted was to sit down and talk with him. Thymepaw coming along was just her being friendly. Though as far as she had seen, there was no Thymepaw around. Perfect. First a hunt which they'd keep secret from the others, then a run, then maybe they could stop and talk. The things piling onto her mind were really turning out to be a heavy load. If anybody would listen, it would be her best friend, Smokepaw.

The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you
[/i]

Lyrics: Without You[/u] by RENT

[Ki]

Dark green eyes blinked back at her, finally meeting her gaze. With that brief moment between them he slipped into the darkness of the badger set. It was supposed to be a small network of tunnels. Smokepaw's keen eyesight kicked in a bit, making him not completely blind. But he'd intended to hunt on scent and hearing. His whiskers brushed against the curved dirt wall. As he continued down the tunnel it struck him that he was in the earth. Some of their dens at the camp dipped underground. But they could always see the daylight above. Smokepaw made a turn in the tunnel, and just like that the daylight vanished. Claustrophobia came over him. Smokepaw couldn't see the light, couldn't see the world above. What if this caved in on him? This set had been here ever since Smokepaw was born! What if...

No. Calm down. he told himself firmly. Might as well try to hunt. He sniffed the walls of the tunnel he was in now. The scent of rabbit was close. Very close. Smokepaw stood perfectly still, paws frozen and whiskers brusing the tunnel wall. He felt quick, light pawsteps moving away from him. Just ahead! Smokepaw raced forwards blindly. Suddenly his claws nicked something. Smokepaw quickened his pace, keeping his head low to avoid hitting it on the earth above. His claws met fur and Smokepaw hooked them into his prey. It was still very much alive, though, and thrashing wildly. One of its feet collided with Smokepaw's chin, its thin claws nicking it. Smokepaw closed his eyes and bit down on it. He didn't want the thing to gouge out his eyes, after all. There was still movement from the rabbit, though decreased. When Smokepaw bit again it was still.

With a little difficulty, he dragged his kill back out to Mousepaw. Warrior code stated they should take it back to camp and eat. But neither one of them had bothered to get anything from the fresh-kill pile. Could this take its place? He nudged the bitten and clawed rabbit towards Mousepaw. Not the sort of clean kill they liked to make, but pretty good considering the limited space and lack of light. "Here," he mewed as he nudged it. Then he noticed his fur and brown dusty splotches from where he'd brushed against the tunnel walls. Smokepaw began to lick his gray fur clean, allowing Mousepaw to eat first.

[spike]

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers

[/i][/center]

She watched him make the eye contact before disappearing. Some part of her wanted to go after him for the thrill. The other wanted to follow just to be sure he was okay. He was alone in those dark tunnels that would've plauged any kit's dreams with nightmares. But the right part of her knew she had to stay back and wait. Going down into that tight mess of tunnels would only result in them getting tangled together and having a few awkward moments and possibly being stuck. She curled her tail around to her paws nervously as she waited and listened for him to escape the darkness of the badger set. Mousepaw kept kneading the ground impatiently and she had to repeat to herself over and over again that he was okay.

Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me

[/i][/center]

But what if he wasn't? What if something had happened? What if he was hurt? She breathed in quickly and held it to stop the thoughts from entering more of her mind and more into her ears. They were only a couple moons apart. Surely he knew enough by this point to survive in an abandoned badger's set. So she allowed herself the mercy of letting the breath go. Just as she did this, she heard kicking and movement deep into the darkness. She stiffened and snuck closer as her ears stood erect, trembling as well. Then the sounds stopped.

Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Had he won? She waited a few more heartbeats and, what luck, he reappeared with a rabbit's carcass in his jaws. What a hunter! She felt her mouth watering at the sight of it and she realized she had not eaten which made the rabbit only more appetizing. He gave her the rabbit first and she frowned to see his handsome pelt dotted with dust. She looked at the rabbit for a second then at him. I'm too kind, she mentally grumbled as she walked over to him. "Let me help," she offered as she began cleaning a spot far on his back. They deserved to eat together, not apart.

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

[/i][/CENTER]

Lyrics: Ever the Same[/u] by Rob Thomas

[Ki]

I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late

Smokepaw was wrapped up in his own thoughts, as per usual. His body was going through actions without much thought. Lick, lick, wipe fur with paw, lick, lick. Smokepaw was thinking of ShadowClan. The rabbit, which was such a symbol of his Clan, had sparked thoughts of his Clan being at odds with the marsh-dwelling cats. War seemed to have been averted this time, since Ravenstar had given into ShadowClan's demands. But how long until he stopped? What would happen then? War? Perhaps. He had never been in a real battle. Battle training with Rowanclaw didn't count. That was always safe. Rowanclaw wasn't aiming to kill Smokepaw, or even injure. Just to teach him the moves that could save his life. What counted was how Smokepaw would use those teachings in the real thing.


I run too fast
Or too slow it seems
When lies become truth
That's when I run to you

Suddenly he felt a tongue rasping against his fur. A shiver went up his spine. Smokepaw turned and looked, his eyes only slightly wider than normal. Mousepaw had caught him off guard. Smokepaw felt his throat tighten. Whatever few words he would have used were caught in his throat. Smokepaw stared at her. His heartbeat quickened, his ears began to burn. What was he supposed to do? He'd shared tongues with cats before. But never with a she-cat. No, that wasn't right either. He'd never shared tongues with Mousepaw. Alone. In camp it felt regular. No big deal. But alone. In a field. It felt...intimate. Was that the right word? Yes, that was the right word. So the question remained: what was he supposed to do? Keep grooming his fur? Thank her? Start grooming her fur in turn? UGH! Why did these things have to be so confusing?!

This world keeps turning faster
Into a new disaster
So I run to you
I run to you, baby

Smokepaw settled for continuing to clean his own fur. With the two of them working on it, it didn't take long to get the dirt out. Now what? She hadn't touched the rabbit. Were they supposed to eat together now? Smokepaw rose to his paws and padded back to the rabbit. He blinked at Mousepaw, a silent thanks and a question rolled into one. One gray paw nudged the rabbit. Mousepaw got her wish. Smokepaw, in his own way, was asking if she wanted to eat together.

And when it all starts coming undone
Baby you're the only one
I run to
I run to you

Lyrics from: I Run to You by Lady Antebellum

[spike]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I`ll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

[/i]

Mousepaw found a patch on his shoulder that was especially clumped with dust and she worked hastily to just get it cleaned. He was better clean anyways. He had a fine gray pelt that didn't need the dirt clinging to it. She finished that patch and tried to finish the tiny specks left. Then she began to realize the closeness between them. She resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably where she was. Maybe that was the wrong word. She wasn't uncomfortable with this but it was a feeling of strangeness. She had always been used to sleeping across the den from him, sharing tongues among the Clan, maybe even sharing prey as they were about to do, but never had it been just the two of them in such a secluded area. She was not used to having his silence to herself.

He`s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who`s got enough of me to break my heart
He`s the song in the car I keep singing, don`t know why I do

[/i]

The she-cat watched him slip away from her once the task had been completed. Some part of her felt a little sad but it lightened up when he motioned to the rabbit. "Oh, yes!" she said as if surprised by it. "I just didn't want to eat right away without you, Smokepaw. It didn't seem right. But let's eat!" She bounded over and made the first bite from the shoulder of her food before lying down beside him to eat.

He`s the time taken up, but there`s never enough
And he`s all that I need to fall into...
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won`t see.

[/i]

Lyrics: Teardrops on my Guitar[/u] by Taylor Swift

[Ki]

Don't think twice
Before you listen too your heart
Follow the trace for a new start

Smokepaw waited until Mousepaw had taken the first bite before he began eating. Some part of him felt a little guilty for not making a clean kill. It would have made him feel better about giving the kill to Mousepaw. A clean kill was better than this clawed mess. But it would do. His stomach had been rumbling hungrily in the tunnels, and now he was satisfying it. Since it was greenleaf, this rabbit was just a little bit plump. Everything was in greenleaf. That's what he liked about it. This was the time of year when everything could grow and flourish. He had been happy when greenleaf had arrived. It was his first greenleaf, since he'd been born in leafbare. Ugh. He hated leafbare. So it figured he would be born in the dead middle of it.

What you need
And everything you'll feel
Is just a question of a deal

Smokepaw looked at Mousepaw. She still confused him. Not only that, she made him nervous. Whenever she was close, like now for example, his heartbeat sped up like he was sprinting throught he moors. Why was that? Smokepaw had known Mousepaw since they were kits. She was only two moons older than him. They had played together as kits. If Smokepaw could be played with, as a kit. He just liked to imitate the warriors and practice what they did when he was a kit. And even when he was young he hadn't talked much. So he wondered why anyone, especially bold Mousepaw, would want to be friends with him. Part of him wanted to ask. But he didn't. He kept on eating. It felt good to relish in the silence. It was always what he liked. You could hear so much more when you weren't filling the air with pointless chatter. He could hear the breeze going through the grass, he could hear the birds singing. Totally peaceful.

And, at the moment, Smokepaw couldn't think of anyone else he wanted more to share it with than Mousepaw.

In the eye of the storm you see a lonely dove
The experince of survival is the key
To the gravity of love

Lyrics from Gravity of Love by Enigma

[spike]

Love, it can weather any storm,
Bring you back to being born, again
oh, it's a helping hand when you need it most
A lighthouse shining on the coast
That never goes dim

[/i][/center]

Mousepaw chewed on the piece of meat quietly just as Smokepaw did. She kept glancing over at him as she made her prey into edible food. It was a nice day for rabbit! This time of year made them oh-so plump and delicious. Her appetite hadn't been great these past few days either. She just never felt well enough to eat much. She mentally thanked StarClan for Smokepaw not mentioning it yet, or maybe not even noticing yet. She didn't want to make him uneasy with her little issue. The apprentice would never fully admit it but she had been getting worse and worse it seemed. First it was appetite, then drowziness. What was next? Was she going to spontaneously turn into a mouse?

When your heart is full of doubt
And you think that there's no way out

[/i][/center]

Okay, that was over exagerating but still! Mousepaw swallowed her piece and reached in for another, this one much smaller than the first. She laid down beside Smokepaw and began gnawing on it. But that's when a breeze rolled through and ruffled her fur. A cold rushed into her and she trembled from the breeze's frosty nature. Without second thought, she leaned over and tucked herself against her larger gray companion. She continued to eat, unaware of the thing she had just done. The tabby finished her bite and decided that she had had enough prey. Her stomach just didn't feel willing for that.

You find your faith has been lost and shaken
You take back what's been taken
Get on your knees and dig down deep
You can do what you think is impossible

[/center][/i]

That's when her mind actually worked.She realized she was curled against Smokepaw for warmth and she felt the redness of a blush creeping up her tail and then up her spine. Oh, sweet StarClan! she inwardly cried. Mousepaw hastily leaned away, figuring he was uncomfortable with such contact. "I'm so sorry," she muttered, the embarrassment making her voice half slightly higher. "I didn't mean to do that! I'm sorry." Oh, great! Now she was feeling bad. She knew how Smokepaw was. He wasn't exaclty Mr. Sensitive but he wasn't Mr. Social-Butterfly either. He hardly could deal with talking. He hadn't actually said a word since they had left camp. Oh, great, great, great! Now she was fretting over all of these things. Mousepaw just knew her ears were on fire by this point.

Keep on believing, don't give in
It'll come and make you whole again
It always will, it always does
Love is unstoppable

[/center][/i]

Lyrics: Unstoppable[/i] by Rascal Flatts

[Ki]

"I've given up on giving up slowly
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate"

Smokepaw kept eating the rabbit, noticing how Mousepaw's bites became smaller and smaller. He tasted nothing wrong with the rabbit. It hadn't seemed diseased in anyway. What was wrong? His heartbeat picked up. Was there something bad about the rabbit? Or maybe about him? While Smokepaw contemplated this, his mind whirling, he suddenly felt her curl up against him. His green eyes grew wide. No one had ever-literally ever-done that to him before. He could feel her soft, brown fur brush against his. Smokepaw's heartbeat quickened so much, he thought it might explode. Heat filled his face and went from the tips of his ears to the very points of his claws. What was going on here?! Did she...like him? Did she have a crush on him?

No, no that was impossible! Why would someone like Mousepaw be remotely drawn to someone like him?

"And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key"

I mean...look at him! He was so quiet. He still hadn't said a single word to her! Meanwhile Mousepaw was so chatty and outgoing and...well...brave. Smokepaw wasn't brave. He could never sneak away from camp in the middle of the night. And he would never be able to mouth off to his mentor, or any other warrior for that matter. Heck. Smokepaw couldn't bring himself to say very much at all around any cat! Especially Mousepaw. While she fascinated him, she also left him incredibly tongue-tied. Well. Moreso than usual. And now...this. This physical contact was all new to him. So strange. Frightening, yet...oddly thrilling. He was almost sad when she moved away. It was clear she was embarrassed and upset. What was he supposed to do? Say nothing?

Instead, Smokepaw spoke for the first time since they'd left camp. He stammered, "Um, it's...it's o-ok. It r-really is."

"I got to get out of here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I got to get out of here

And I'm begging you
I'm begging you

To be my escape"

Lyrics from Be My Escape by Relient K

[spike]

What if I told you it was all meant to be

The she-cat listened to him stammer and it brought a small smile to her face. That was Smokepaw. So cute when he stammered... How come he hadn't spoken until she made such a move? Did that make him blink or something? Oh, well. It didn't honestly matter. He had spoken which was something that nobody had thought he could do as a kit. In fact, he was labelled mute! But Smokepaw honestly had a voice of gold. She laid her head down on her paws and listened to the voice that had long since ended. He always managed to calm her nerves even when she seemed to stir them up in him. Smokepaw had that effect on her. He was a strange one but she saw beneath it all. He was the only cat she knew, next to Mintleaf, that had a heart worthy of the greatest warriors.

Would you believe me, would you agree?
It's almost that feeling we met before

[/i][/center]

She sighed and glanced towards the sky which was beginning to turn into a sort of robin's egg blue shade. The blood of dawn was vanishing and they probably would be required for some sort of training. "You know," she said quietly. "It's been a rough few days. I don't know why but I've been feeling so dreadful lately. I don't feel like eating, energy takes a long time to build up. I hope it wasn't something I ate. I didn't feel like saying it to anybody else but I just didn't want you thinking the rabbit was bad or anything." She turned her gaze away and frowned only more. Those sort of things ate at her. Mintleaf was the one she usually spoke to but Smokepaw was just as close. He wasn't going to spill information any time soon. She trusted him. So she didn't want him going on and on believing the rabbit was bad. That wasn't at all it.

She always did hate seeing Smokepaw beat up on himself.

So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy
When I tell you love has come here and now

[/center][/i]

Lyrics: A Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson