Darkened Hearts

[Yoko]

Twistedclaw had been quiet for a while now. A while ago he had discerned that Specklestar was the visitor, but he didn't pay much attention to the conversation. Something about a fire in WindClan. It served them right for cheating on the kit-deal a few moons back, but otherwise it didn't concern him.

He shifted a little, hearing Feathercloud speak so near him. She was asking about his throat. The small tabby decided to attempt speaking again. He opened his mouth, but the first sound he made was a thick cough. Surprisingly, his throat actually did feel better, seeing as that cough didn't feel like a claw tearing in his throat.

"Better," he rasped, his eyes fixed on hers. "Thank you..."

Finally, he could say what he had been thinking all day long.

"You work so hard, taking care of half the Clan by yourself....you ever wish you were a warrior instead?"

[Ki]

After a cough to clear out his throat, Twistedclaw managed to speak. His voice was still raspy, but that was to be expected. She considered giving him more lavender to see what it would do. Perhaps something else to help with his fever. But she'd hold off until Tawnypaw returned with more herbs. Feathercloud didn't want to use up her entire supply. She'd been stock-piling these herbs for leaf-bare. She'd never expected she'd have to go through them. But the medicine cat had been forced to dig into her other herbs. The decision had been a tough one. But she simply couldn't sit by and let her Clanmates waste away while she and Tawnypaw scrambled to gather more. It had been a tough choice, but she was sure it had been the right one. Or at least...she hoped it was.

The warrior's sudden question startled her. She raised her ears slightly, then smiled. "I wish I could find a way to help everyone get better...but I was never meant to be a warrior. Being a medicine cat was my destiny." Feathercloud was always happy as a medicine cat. Just because things were getting harder it didn't mean she wished for another life. "I would have been a terrible warrior anyway. Remember how bad I was at fighting when you tried to teach me?" Feathercloud smiled a bit.

[Yoko]

A lazy smile crossed Twistedclaw's face. Of course, destiny...Twistedclaw had never given much thought to destiny or StarClan. Had he been destined to be a strong warrior? Was he destined to die at the claws of an invisible enemy? Such morbid thoughts...

The opposite of Feathercloud. He had always scoffed at the words "gentle"and "kind" but the Medicine Cat seemed to embody those words. It was more than that too...She was strong in her conviction, her belief in StarClan.

He laughed, a soft rumbling sound that didn't disturb his throat too much. He was surprised by the amusement he found in remembering those days. Since he got sick, everything before the illness seemed to have happened many moons ago.

"You didn't do as badly as you think. And besides, you are fighting. You're fighting this sickness that's overtaken the Clan...I know it doesn't look like it from where you're standing. But for someone fighting all alone, you're doing well."

It was the most he had said since he had arrived here. He was amazed that he had been able to put that into words at all. He wasn't the master orator that his sibling was...

[Ki]

"I'm not fighting it alone." Feathercloud mewed in response. She looked at him and at the rest of the cats in the den. "Each cat that is sick is battling the disease themselves, I think. And it's my job to help them fight it. Give them what they need to survive, and give them comfort and encouragement. I'm helping them fight it. So, in a way, we're all fighting this together." Feathercloud smiled a bit. She allowed herself to sit down beside his next, since it didn't seem as though anyone needed her immediate her attention. It felt good to get off of her paws for a moment. Though she couldn't sit long. Feathercloud had a fairly good feeling that if she did, she would end up falling asleep. And she couldn't do that. At least, not yet. There wasn't time to rest right now.

"And I fight alongside StarClan." Feathercloud added. Though they had been rather silent lately. She shoved the thought away. They would never abandon her. At least, Sagewing wouldn't. And her own ancestors would not. When Sagewing did not come to her in dreams, it was her mother's mother or her father's father, or some other ancestor that had taken an interest in her for whatever reason. They wouldn't leave their old Clan to suffer like this.

[Yoko]

Twistedclaw shifted to a more comfortable position. She had sat down so he didn't have to angle his head as much. He was grateful that she was so near, because he wouldn't have to strain his ears so much. He listened, not at all offended at being corrected. He closed his eyes from time to time, but he never stopped paying attention. He found it interesting, even understood her duties a little better. He was all the more appreciative of her work because of it.

StarClan, Twistedclaw almost winced. He had never thought much of the starry cats, but if they hadn't sent the plague themselves, how could any cat believe they existed? He didn't think any less of her for it, which surprised him. Her faith in them seemed to be holding her down in a way that other cats might not be able to. A warm paw seemed to wash over his face. Must have been the fever.

"Well if we're all helping you fight, then I'll do my best," Twistedclaw mewed for lack of a better response.

Snaketail would have said something more clever...the worst part of being here was being separated from his siblings. It was like missing a leg or a tail. But somehow...being away from them didn't seem as bad as he had always imagined. Maybe it was Feathercloud, maybe she just had that calming effect on all cats...

[Ki]

"You've always been a gifted fighter." Feathercloud mewed with a smile. She mulled over what he had said. Had she ever wanted to be a warrior? Maybe once, when she was a kit. Cats had often whispered to her mother that little Featherkit was too small, too weak to ever be a warrior. They told her she wouldn't last through the first leaf-bare, or some creature would snatch her up the first time she strayed from a patrol. Perhaps then she'd wanted to be a warrior. If only to prove them wrong. When the cats that came to her in her dreams told her she would never be a warrior, it had broken her heart. But then Sagewing had come to her and showed her the path that awaited her instead.

Medicine cat has always been my path. Feathercloud thought. She'd followed that path obediently over the moons. Specklestar had been a good leader. Their warriors good warriors. So WHY?! Why was this happening?! Some part of her-the not as calm and collected part of her-wanted to just run off into the marshes and scream. She knew she was fighting with her Clanmates, but so far it seemed they had lost every battle they'd fought. No one had recovered yet, but many had died. Was she doomed to fail her Clanmates until no one was left standing? "If anyone can beat this, Twistedclaw, it's you." If one of their strongest warriors couldn't beat it, then who could?

[Yoko]

Warmth flushing his face again. Most cats didn't talk about his fighting like it was good thing. Maybe it wasn't his talent they despised so much as his attitude, but either way he didn't get many compliments on it. Especially not from a she-cat. The tabby tom twisted a little, stretching his spine with a slight groan, but settled back down quickly. It was hard on him, laying around all day, but the little stretch alone had taken real effort.

He closed his eyes. "It seems quiet now," he mewed, commenting on the lessened coughing and uncomfortable scambling of his current denmates.. "Why aren't you taking a nap or something?"

[Kitty]

(thread intrusion ftw |D)

After a rather unfortunate collapse on a hunting patrol, Icepelt was now merrily on his way to Feathercloud's medicine den. He was all nice and propped up against the apprentice Dapplepaw, whom he'd offered to help train in this time of strife. In fact, Icepelt seemed to have taken over half of the apprentices' training. With all the sickness and death going around ShadowClan's camp, he wanted them out of the camp as much as possible to lower the risk of disease. He'd been thinking about asking Specklestar to just take all the healthy cats and retreat from camp for a while, until the disease had worn away. To prevent it from spreading and killing even more. He'd been planning on broaching the subject to her upon his return from the hunting patrol.

Unfortunately, that hadn't happened, as he and Dapplepaw were now pushing their way into the medicine cat den.

Poor Feathercloud, bless her soul. Her den was packed with sick cats. The smell of sickness hung in the air. Coughing and wheezing came from all sides of the den. Cats were curled in nests that had been hurriedly prepared. None of them looked well. A stab of sadness shot through Icepelt. This was his Clan. It was a shame at what havoc one simple rat caught by a pair of kits could wreak on the Clan. The one remaining kit would feel this pain for the rest of her life, he thought in pity.

Feathercloud was having a hushed conversation with a warrior in one of the nests. Icepelt recognized Twistedclaw. It was a shame such a good warrior had fallen ill. It was also a shame to have to interrupt their conversation, but Dapplepaw didn't need to spend too much time around all these sick cats. Icepelt knew he, on the other paw, would fit in wonderfully. He'd had a cough and his eyes were watery, and Dapplepaw had commented on how warm he felt during their trip through the marsh. Not to mention the dizziness that had caused him to collapse to begin with.

"I know how busy you are, Feathercloud, but do you have room for one more?" the deputy asked apologetically, stifling a cough.

[Ki]

Feathercloud smiled a bit. Ah, if only things were that easy. She couldn't rest. Not even when Tawnypaw came back. Many of the cats in her care required constant supervision. If she wasn't awake to watch them, who would be? No one, that was who. "Someone might need me. Be it a sick cat or Specklestar or someone else. I can't rest yet." Perhaps it was true. There was no rest for the weary. Feathercloud certainly felt weary enough. But this was her duty as medicine cat, and she would do her best to care for all of the sick cats placed in her paws.

As if to answer Twistedclaw's question, an apprentice stumbled in supporting Icepelt. His eyes were watery and glassy. The poor tom looked dizzy and he sounded as if he'd been coughing. Cold despair washed over Feathercloud in a brief wave. Not their deputy too! Would this plague spare anyone? She composed herself quickly and got to her paws. "Yes, we do. You can take my nest for the time being." Tawnypaw's nest had hardly been used by the apprentice. Shortly after it was made, the plague broke out and they had to use it for a sick cat. Feathercloud's nest had been previously used by Deerfur, but upon his death it had been left vacant.

[Yoko]

The tabby warrior was tempted to protest, but Feathercloud won the argument the second Icepelt stepped paw into the den. He was leaning on Dapplepaw, one of the few apprentices left. Twistedclaw sighed, a thick heavy sound, but was otherwise quiet while Feathercloud tended to her newest patient.

No she does not, Twistedclaw answered Icepelt's question with the bitter thought. He supposed it wasn't the Deputy's fault. He hadn't gotten sick on purpose just to wear the small she-cat out more. Still, he barely repressed a growl when she offered Icepelt her own nest. But you need to rest!

The tabby tom held back a cough. Apparently working himself up wasn't doing his body any good. So reluctantly, he closed his already squinting eyes and tried to relax.

[Kitty]

Icepelt felt a wave of sympathy for the small she-cat as he watched a wave of despair wash over her tired face. After a moment it was gone, and she was standing and moving toward the deputy. Her calm mask was on again, but Icepelt knew how stressed and exhausted she must feel. She'd had a full den every night for the past quarter moon or longer. He wondered how much sleep she got at night, if any. Suddenly he felt sorry for showing up at this moment. She'd actually seemed...at peace before he'd entered, chatting with Twistedclaw. Almost every sick cat was sleeping at the moment, with the exception of Twistedclaw and maybe another who was laying in the corner. (He was either awake or sleep-coughing.) It had to be a pleasant break for Feathercloud. He was surprised she wasn't taking advantage of the quiet and resting.

"Yes, we do," Feathercloud replied. "You can take my nest for the time being."

One look at the medicine cat immediately made the tom decide that he was going to do exactly not that. She looked like she could pass out if she was given that option. There wasn't a way that even StarClan could make him take the poor she-cat's nest. He shook his head slightly -- any more of a head shake would have made him even dizzier than he already was. "I'm not taking your nest, Feathercloud," he meowed. "You need it more than I do."

Icepelt was just sick. He wouldn't mind laying on the ground for a little while. He might be the deputy, but no matter what happened from here on out, the medicine cat's health was more important than his. Deputies could be replaced, but medicine cats had to be trained. And they needed their medicine cat in the best shape possible for the coming days. She would need somewhere comfortable to sleep to regain her strength. For Icepelt, it would be pretty much downhill from here, and whether or not he had a nest wouldn't affect that.

[Ki]

Feathercloud raised her ears a bit when Icepelt denied her offer. She wasn't about to let their deputy sleep on the ground when he was sick. She shook her head and padded towards him. "I'm not going to be resting, there is too much work to be done. But you need to lie down." Her voice was gentle as always, but her tone was firm. Why would she need a nest to rest if she was simply going to be working? It didn't seem fair to him to let it go to waste. She nodded to Dapplepaw and smiled at her. "Thank you for helping him here, Dapplepaw. Could you help him over to the nest? He seems a bit dizzy." Bless her. The poor apprentice was one of the few healthy cats left. Feathercloud hoped she wouldn't get sick as well, and planned to usher her out as soon as Icepelt was lying down. She couldn't have more cats getting sick.

Feathercloud could only pray no more cats would get sick. The patrols had dwindled to only a handful of healthy cats. She wasn't sure border patrols were being done anymore; it seemed as if everyone healthy was assigned to hunting. For good reason. There were many hungry, sick mouths to feed and not enough paws to catch prey. Ironic, actually. They thought they would have to start a war because there was too many cats to feed. Now they had fewer cats, but no one to do the hunting. A cruel twist of fate if she ever saw one.

[Yoko]

Twistedclaw opened his eyes again. Icepelt was turning down her offer? Finally, some other cat that was seeing sense. Feathercloud was clearly dead on her paws and needed to sleep first. A small smile, the only kind he could manage at the moment, curled onto his face. The Medicine Cat had become the patient.

And then...Feathercloud was the Medicine Cat again. It was almost amusing. She still sounded so gentle, but suddenly there was a firmness behind it. He wondered what would happen if Icepelt were to push the issue.

The small tabby was becoming acutely aware that he should be resting by now, but he wasn't done with convincing Feathercloud that she should rest too. As he laid bask in his own makeshift nest, he debated jumping into the conversation. He usually enjoyed a good argument, but he had never really been in one without his intimidation factor. He doubted that he looked very intimidating curled up like a kit and losing weight by the day. The thought deflated him a little, and lazily waited for Icepelt's reply.

[Kitty]

Icepelt shook his head, remaining adamant in his decision to not take Feathercloud's nest. She insisted that there was too much work to do to sleep, but the deputy personally thought that she needed sleep more than she would be needed around here anytime soon. Nothing would be changing in the medicine den, by the looks of its occupants. He was no medicinal expert, but if the medicine cat had already loaded them up on all the herbs she could give them to help ease their pain, there wasn't much else she could do. The odd survivor basically had to battle it out with themselves in the end, and hope they were strong enough to overcome the disease. Herbs could help that, yes, but right now, Icepelt was certain that Feathercloud would be more useful after she'd gotten some shut-eye.

When the medicine cat instructed Dapplepaw help him over to her nest, Icepelt refused. The tortoiseshell apprentice had nodded and begun trying to lead him in that direction, but Icepelt shook his head. "Feathercloud, I don't care how much you claim I need to lie down," he said. "You need to just as much as me." He could tell Dapplepaw was struggling to decide who to obey; normally, she would follow the deputy's orders, but the medicine cat took priority on medicinal cases such as this one. In the end, she ended up standing awkwardly, unsure what to do exactly.

"Besides, the more rested you are, the easier it will be to work around here. No offense, but I'm not sure I'd trust herbs a medicine cat gave me when she was half asleep," the deputy teased.

[Ki]

Of course Icepelt wouldn't lay down. She sighed tiredly. Why did deputies and leaders have to be so stubborn? Was it required of them, she wondered? Feathercloud's ears swiveled as one of her patients, a warrior, awoke and began coughing again. Pretty soon he would be waking up the entire den, she thought dismally. Feathercloud flicked her tail and looked back to Icepelt. "I have work to do, Icepelt. I'll lie down when I have time today." She paused, knowing that wouldn't satisfy him. Finally she said, "I sent Tawnypaw out to gather herbs and more nest materials. You take my nest for now, and then when she gets back we can make one for you to sleep in. And then I will rest. Fair?" She hoped it was. There was more to do. Though some part of her wished she could rest. And she would. Later. Feathercloud bristled slightly at his last comment, but quickly calmed herself. She was just irritated and tired. That was all.

"I appreciate your concern Icepelt," Feathercloud told him, "but I'm doing just fine. I can keep working well into the night if I have to." And she would, if circumstances forced her too. Though the medicine cat hoped they wouldn't. Feathercloud needed sleep just as much as the next cat. But her Clan needed her. If sacrificing some rest meant she could save a few lives, then she wouldn't sleep for moons.