All the Little Things [tag ; cai]

[. s p o r e l e t t ♪]

Doveclaw was not always a patient cat. She tended to act rashly and strike off on her own when she got tired of waiting for others. It was truly a miracle that she had managed to make four such loyal friends, even if three of them were in another Clan, for it was true that most cats were never around Doveclaw for long enough to get to know her. Tonight, however, was another matter. Tonight she was waiting for someone special, so she would stay as long as it took. And if Tigerheart came, as she tried to be confident that he would, then she would try to be patient, for this night at least.

She didn't want to rush through things and miss something important.

The moon was still large and round in the sky, almost full, as the Gathering had occurred only the night before. Doveclaw had slept late that day, since she had been up the night before, but she wouldn't be allowed that liberty tomorrow. She could hardly expect such a luxury for an excursion that was held entirely in secret. She felt restless, twitchy as she waited with her tail wrapped neatly around her paws. Doveclaw wanted to get up and pace, but she forced herself to stay seated, so her impatience would not be obvious.

She didn't know whether she was nervous or excited, but thought it was probably a combination of both that had her muscles jumping and her heart fluttering like a trapped bird. He was appealing; she didn't need another meeting with him to tell her that. The sight of the tom had her blood simmering with arousal, so it certainly wasn't a question of whether he looked good enough to mate. But Doveclaw wouldn't take a tom as her mate just because he was strong or handsome. She wanted to know him, and for him to know her, before they agreed to anything. She wanted to be in love.

"Hurry up, Tigerheart," she muttered quietly, her gaze trained on the ridge that led to ThunderClan's territory, straining for a glimpse of movement. "We may have all night, but it won't last forever."

[:c a i:]

Tigerheart had not had an easy time slipping out of camp. Typically, on the one night he needed to be alone, dear Flameclaw and Sparrowfur had decided to have a brotherly get-together that evening, and therein lay a whole string of delightful activities and raucous conversations that had to be sat through before he could reasonably leave his brothers. Normally he was more than happy to spend time with them, for they were good company and the three of them enjoyed loosening up now and then. But not on this night.

The anticipation of what was to be done tonight had made Tigerheart on edge all day. He had not had much sleep as of late what with the Gathering the previous night, but he was too occupied with thoughts of a certain WindClan she-cat to feel tired. He tried - not altogether successfully - to fill his day with regularity and act perfectly normally, lest anybody realise that he was as edgy as if he were about to mastermind a one-cat ShadowClan raid, but he found it especially hard to engross himself in a mundane midday patrol. Inclined to brood by nature, Tigerheart's head was quite filled with blue eyes and cream fur all day long. So when he was forced to endure a lengthy discussion about the lamentable state of each of his brothers' love lives, it was all he could do not to bop them round the head in annoyance.

My love life might not be so lamentable if you would just stop talking! Tigerheart glanced overhead, anxiously seeing the moon steadily rising, its pale glow reminding him that time was ticking away and moonhigh was coming ever closer. If he arrived late, Doveclaw would never forgive him. Or worse, if she thought he wasn't coming at all...

But finally, finally, Sparrowfur gave a great yawn and said he was turning in for the night. Tigerheart nodded and tried not to show his immense relief. Flameclaw stretched his great limbs and glanced at Tigerheart.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to hit the moss too."

[/b] He said. "You coming?"

"I'll... be in later. I think I'll take a quick walk first."[/b] Tigerheart replied, blinking his amber eyes sincerely. "You go on." Flameclaw looked at him for a long moment and Tigerheart grimaced inwardly, thinking his brother had developed some great mind-reading ability. Fortunately, Flameclaw eventually nodded, shrugged and went into the den. Tigerheart breathed a sigh of relief and, with a furtive look around, headed towards the exit.

Once out of camp, he felt much freer. Nobody had noticed him leave, nobody would know where he was going. He was finally free from scrutiny and, if he hurried, he should be at Fourtrees by moonhigh. Although now he was alone, he was suddenly hit by what he was doing. He was sneaking off to meet a rival she-cat, something he never would have thought that he of all cats would do. He felt a prickle of guilt and wondered whether he was doing a great wrong in meeting Doveclaw. What was it about her that made him cast aside his natural inclinations of fierce Clan loyalty? She was beautiful, for sure, but beauty alone was never enough to turn his eye. It went deeper than what he saw on the outside, even though he did not know her that intimately. But he knew enough to be captivated, enough to be driven to want to know more. And if he didn't find out whether this was something real, then he knew he would always regret it.

And so he went on.

When the moon was right up in the sky, Tigerheart emerged at the very clearing he had been at the previous night, his paws tingling with anticipation. He moved gracefully, swiftly covering the ground and searching for her, hoping with all his heart that she had meant what she had said yesterday.

And there she was. She was sitting upright, her tail around her paws, the bright moonlight catching her pale fur alluringly. He swallowed.

"Doveclaw." he said very softly, his voice low. He padded over to her and greeted her, cheek-to-cheek. "I've been thinking about you all day..."

[[Um... sorry. I don't know how that got so long. x.x]][/size][/blockquote]

[. s p o r e l e t t ♪]

There he was. Doveclaw saw movement on the ridge, under the trees, and trained her eyes intently on the figure that approached out of the shadows. That sleek profile, those dark, well-defined stripes. It was Tigerheart, there was no mistaking it. As he descended the slope to greet her, Doveclaw rose to her paws, but let him come to her. For the first time she fully realized what it must have meant to him to meet her like this, behind the back of his own Clan. Had he told his brothers, or was he keeping this from them, as well? She was aware every moment, in the back of her mind, that she was being disloyal to her Clan by coming here, but at least she had friends that would support her, and no family to betray. What must it be like for Tigerheart, who almost certainly hid this secret from everyone but her?

She hadn't thought it possible, but when he padded nearer and rested his cheek against hers, murmuring her name and speaking just a few words, she felt herself melting. He had thought about her all day? She hadn't realized before how much it would mean to hear him say those words. Gratefully, she rubbed her cheek against his, breathing in that unique scent which she would forever be able to distinguish from that of other ThunderClan cats. "What a coincidence," she smiled, though he couldn't see. "I was thinking about you too. I'm glad you came." Finally stepping back, she gazed intently at Tigerheart's face, admiring the bright gold of his eyes and the strong planes of his jaw, all things she did not have the luxury of examining openly before. But now that he was here, what did she say to him? She didn't know where to start. "Tigerheart..."

Words wouldn't come. Was it too soon to tell him that she had only started looking for a mate because of her friends? And that she now found herself craving his presence for completely different reasons? Doveclaw didn't know what love felt like, but she knew that she felt something for this tom. And she was sure that, in time, if she let herself, then she would come to love him. That certainty was as exciting as it was terrifying. It was a good thing that Doveclaw liked a good adventure, and never backed down from a challenge. She wanted to make the most of every moment, and wasn't about to waste any time. "It's strange being here when the clearing is empty," she commented, looking up at the shelter of the four great oaks above them. "I'm used to being able to see the sky wherever I am. I know the stars are all there, above the tops of the trees, but from down here I can't see them."

[:c a i:]

Tigerheart settled himself beside Doveclaw as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be so close to her that their fur mingled and he could feel the heat of her body warming his side. He smiled slightly at the sight of the pale fur against his dark gold pelt before turning his head slowly to follow her gaze up at the sky. The powerful oak branches masked the midnight blue, though the bright stars winked at them through the canopy. It was a familiar sight for him. Many a time had he stared up at the night sky from camp and seen the comforting sight of a leafy shelter like a great shield for the whole Clan.

He felt a prickle of unease at Doveclaw's words, for they only served to remind him of two things he would rather forget - firstly, that they were from what felt like different ends of the earth, and secondly, that even with the trees overhead, StarClan would see their treachery. She was used to open skies and rolling hills while he lived in the green forest with its wafting branches and thick trunks. And what would their ancestors say about their coming together like this? A pensive expression worked its way onto Tigerheart's face and he turned troubled eyes onto Doveclaw.

"The stars are there," he agreed. "And StarClan sees us." He paused, twining his tail with hers with a sigh. "And yet I can do nothing but defy them."

[/b]

Questions formed on the tip of his tongue, but he hesitated to ask them. He wanted to know what this meant to her, and what she wanted him to be, but which words to use in order to find out? What did she want to happen? Was she conscious of the burgeoning heat between them that kept him coming back to her, even though all good sense declared that he should not? He knew he was in danger of falling for her, and yet it did not seem to be a danger he wanted to avoid. There was an allure to it; a seductiveness which sprang from the forbidden thrill of being with her. He began to think that he had already gone past the point of no return long ago, but without ever knowing.

"Doveclaw" he began, looking her straight in the eyes. "I know you did not ask me here merely to talk of the sky. Tell me," he paused, finding his words. "Tell me what it is you want for us, and if I can, I will give it to you."/color][/size][/blockquote]

[. s p o r e l e t t ♪]

She couldn't see them, the stars. The trees choked out their light, hiding the pair below in shadows deeper than the night warranted as they pressed intimately together. Yet Doveclaw did not feel suffocated by the canopy above her, or frightened by the darkness that cloaked them both. Instead she found it comforting, like the shelter WindClan's nursery provided its queens. It was a strange feeling, and different from what she was used to, but for now it was well-received, for the alternative was no better. There was nowhere that she could be with Tigerheart but the shadows, no one who could know and not condemn them for their disloyalty.

Yet, she knew, even here there were eyes watching them, disapproving eyes from whom they could never hide. As Tigerheart observed, StarClan saw them despite the blanket of leaves between them and the sky, and Doveclaw was well aware that their celestial ancestors would not approve of their actions. But despite her loyalty to her Clanmates and to her leader, which she would never willingly betray, even if it meant tearing out her own heart, she could not find the will to acquiesce to StarClan's unspoken demands. This connection, this urgency they shared, was between her and Tigerheart only--surely they could keep it that way, and still be loyal to their own Clans.

"And I'm no better than you," she sighed, leaning into the warmth of Tigerheart's side. Even that amount of contact was enough to have her fur tingling, but before she could act on the feeling she knew that she had to explain, to answer his questions and make sure that they wouldn't both regret whatever came next. Looking up at Tigerheart so that she could see his reaction, the slender WindClan cat began speaking slowly. "Tigerheart, I won't lie to you. I am looking for a mate, and a father for my kits, and if we pursue this any further, you have to know that is the direction we will be heading. I'm not just looking for a snuggle or a night of amorous play. Even though," she smiled, and nuzzled the tom's throat, "I wouldn't mind some of that either."

Doveclaw paused to measure his reaction, wondering if her forthright declaration had scared him off. It said a lot about Tigerheart that he had agreed to meet with her in defiance of StarClan, in complete secrecy, but just because he was here didn't mean that he wanted to become that cat for her. Not every tom saw being in a relationship and having kits in the same light. "I really like you, Tigerheart," she said vehemently. "I'm not in the habit of keeping secrets from my Clan, but for you I would. For you I am. This isn't nothing for me. So..." What more was there to say? She had just basically admitted to caring for this tom as much as her whole Clan, perhaps more. "what is it to you, Tigerheart?"

[:c a i:]

[[Right. I'm getting this done. Finally. And I'm not doing it in orange. *tired of not being able to read her font colour*]]

Tigerheart looked down at his companion, taking in the sight of her leaning into him and marvelling in the sensation of having her warm fur pressed against his. For once, they were quiet. No fighting, no shouting, no anger. And for the first time they were broaching the subject of what they actually were. Already too long had passed with them ignoring the question that kept flickering in the background: what are we doing here?. It was time to answer that question.

Tigerheart swallowed, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. I am looking for a mate, and a father for my kits. Doveclaw confirmed what a small part of him had always thought - or perhaps just hoped? - and he couldn't help but smile, dropping his head to press his nose to her cheek, breathing in her scent. It seemed to him that there were now around two different things that he could do in response to Doveclaw's admission. He could either run a mile, claim insanity and never look her in the eye again, or... he could confess that every time he saw her he smiled, and every time she spoke he couldn't help but listen (unless they were arguing, in which case there was less listening and more yelling).

And so he chose the second. Not in so many words, for he was still a tom and not naturally inclined to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he came close enough.

"It's something that just might be special." he replied simply. "I never thought I would meet a she-cat who would be worth deceiving my whole Clan. I thought I would always, always put ThunderClan first, no matter who it was. But I can't keep thinking that now I know you. And I wouldn't want any other cat to be the mother of my kits."

[/color] Tigerheart added the last bit in a low voice, half spoken into her coat since he'd started to nuzzle her neck, pressing his nose in to the soft cream fur.

ThunderClan was all but forgotten.[/size][/blockquote]

[. s p o r e l e t t ♪]

At that moment, with Tigerheart nuzzling her neck and her body pressed to his, Doveclaw thought; this is everything. A forbidden love that she had never dreamed would find her of all cats had done just that, and it had swallowed her whole. How had it come to be this way? A purr escaped her as the ThunderClan tom explored her throat with his muzzle. Though it was true she had several close friends in a neighbouring Clan, somehow she had always assumed she would never fall for a tom that wasn't in her own Clan. She would never... but the thought drifted away on a cloud of emotion, and she couldn't find the will to bring it back.

"I'm happy to be that she-cat," she purred, turning to lick Tigerheart's ear. The four oaks, which had seemed oppressive and towering before, now created a sheltering canopy for them as she twined her tail around his. Doveclaw felt as though her heart would beat right out of her chest, but her eyes, deep and blue, were steady as they opened to meet his. What would it be like, together with him? No tom had ever been this close to her before — perhaps they hadn't dared. But her friends had never spoken of it to her, if they knew, and now... she needed it. She needed to know that feeling, and StarClan or no, she would tonight. There would be time for worries and regrets later.

No, she corrected herself. She could never regret this. No matter what came after, she swore she would never regret choosing her heart over her duty.

There was something that she needed to say, now, before her thoughts were truly robbed form her, and before the words lost their meaning. It was something she somehow felt sure of despite the short time that they had known each other. "Tigerheart," she whispered huskily. "Tigerheart, I love you." Did StarClan condemn those words? She didn't care. She meant them, and she wanted him to hear them said, to know what she felt right now. It hurt her a little that after tonight they would go back to their own Clans, and need to slip out in secrecy to see each other, but she wouldn't let it mar what they had tonight. Now was for them only, and nothing would take that away.

Not even StarClan.

[:c a i:]

I love you

Tigerheart stopped his ministrations at the base Doveclaw's neck for a moment at the sound of her voice. The words registered slowly in Tigerheat's (slightly hazy) mind and their significance struck him swiftly. He lifted his gaze, surprised, his wide amber eyes searching hers for any sign that she was not serious. He found none. A small smile graced his features and he replied, his voice as low and husky as hers.

"And I love you",

[/color] he said, murmured, dropping his head to resume his work at her throat. "More than I ever thought I could."[/color] he continued, his voice slightly muffled by the fact that he was busily working his way along the soft fur at her neck. After a moment, he paused again and looked at her sincerely. "Be my mate." He said simply. "And not just now. Always."[/color]

What he said was far from murmuring sweet nothings to a she-cat he hoped to win over for the night. He needed Doveclaw to know that he was in this for the long term, and he planned on seeing her for a lot longer than just the one night. Whatever came out of it. There was no other cat in the world, save for perhaps his brothers, who could push him to border on betraying his Clan, and yet for Doveclaw he would do it any day. He knew, just knew, that after tonight he would never be able to give her up, no matter what his own Clan or even StarClan said. And so his mind was made up.

[[Prolly time for some National Geographic music and a handy fade-to-black...]]
[/blockquote]

[. s p o r e l e t t ♪]

Had he rejected her then, Doveclaw thought that her heart might have shattered from the strain. She was glad that he didn't, more than glad when he murmured those same words in her ear. And when Tigerheart claimed her, and her alone, as his mate for then and ever after, there was only one thing she could say. "Yes," she agreed, her eyes slightly blurry as she stared at the canopy overhead. "Yes, always. And you'll be my mate, and mine alone." It was not a request, but an expectation, almost a demand. Lying down in the greenleaf grass, she finally looked up at him, holding his amber eyes with her blue ones, love and trust and passion filling her gaze. There were no more words now. Their actions would speak for them.

~♪~

As it turned out, being together with Tigerheart had been nothing like she expected. She hadn't really known what it might be like, but of course every she-cat approached her first time with some level of apprehension and curiosity. Looking back on it now, as she lay stretched out with her face pressed cozily into her mate's fur, Doveclaw decided that it had been even better than she had ventured to hope for. She thought she might have missed something, though... they would have to do it again. Soon.

For now, though, she was content to lie here and listen to the sound of Tigerheart's breathing. It was... peaceful. And, that being the case, she preferred it to what she knew was coming next, because sooner or later she was going to have to tell him. He already knew that she wanted kits, but... he deserved to know the rest as well. The reason that she had been looking for a mate in the first place.

Worming her muzzle up his neck so that she wasn't talking into his fur, Doveclaw made a sleepy noise to get his attention. "Tigerheart," she murmured, "If I'm pregnant... will you be alright with your kits growing up in another Clan?" She didn't say what she was thinking, that she wasn't sure if she could ever abandon her Clan, even if it meant they would stay separated. She wasn't sure how to tell him that she hadn't wanted kits just on her own, though. How did one go about telling their mate that she had plotted to have kits with all of her friends, and that now that they all had their eyes on a tom, she was allowed to become his mate? She didn't just want him for now, he knew that, but it could so easily be taken badly.

So she'd bide her time, wait for his answer. Draw him into it slowly, so that when she told him, it would come out the right way, and there could be no confusion. And everything would be alright.

[:c a i:]

Tigerheart lay with Doveclaw by his side, feeling the warmth of her body pressed against his as he cooled down, a delicious sense of relaxation creeping over him. He hoped she shared his satisfaction with the night's outcome and had, hopefully, made sure she was well taken care of. The last thing he wanted was her to feel anything they did together was a mistake. He felt a mixture of delight and awe that she had chosen him to be her first, since she would no doubt always remember the experience. He was glad he had been a part of it, and it had been countless times more gratifying for him to be with her than any other she-cat he had had in the past.

No doubt because Doveclaw was the first cat he'd been in love with. The select few he had been with were passers-by; cats he scarcely knew whom he had obliged with one night. This, however, this was having a mate he absolutely and completely cherished. He knew, just knew, that there would never be another for him, and that this night would always be held as special in his heart and mind.

He was stirred from his sleepy thoughts by Doveclaw's equally sleepy hum close to his ear. He turned his warm golden gaze to her, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth as she began to speak.

"Will you be all right with your kits growing up in another Clan?"

A slight frown replaced the smile on Tigerheart's face as he looked away for a moment. He felt suddenly more wide-awake, sitting up slightly as he took in the implications of her words. How would he feel if this night resulted in kits and he had to watch her raise them without him in WindClan? He'd be so far away almost all the time, and probably wouldn't even see the kits until they were old enough to be brought out of the nursery to meet him in secret. It wasn't as if border meetings could be arranged between him and Doveclaw. Once more, he found himself cursing the fates for letting them be born to different Clans.

"It breaks my heart to think I'd have to allow my kits to grow up without me there, and not be able to see them whenever I wanted or watch them turn into little apprentices, and then warriors."

[/color] He broke off and looked away, a sombre shadow crossing his golden eyes.

A long moment stretched out.

Then he looked back at her, expression clearing. "But this is what I've chosen, Doveclaw. I made my decision to be your mate, and it is so worth it. I know you'd be a ferocious and wonderful mother and I'd have nothing to worry about. So to answer your question... of course I'll wish it could be easier for us, but I'll always support you, whatever happens."

Whatever happens.

[/blockquote]