/running/ from a memory [open]

[mushu]

Fogpaw's ears were flat to his head as he raced out of camp. Rain poured down from the sky but he was hardly aware of it as he allowed his paws to take him somewhere, anywhere but the RiverClan camp.

He wasn't sure why he needed out of camp so desperately, but with Beechstorm nowhere in sight and the other cats huddled comfortably in their dens, he seized the opportunity to escape without questions. Through the tall grasses and reeds ahead of him, he could make out the swollen torrent that was the river. Speeding up his paws, he reached it in no time.

Maybe it was the fact that his and his denmates' apprenticeships were so fully taking off that upset him so much... And the fact he knew there should have been another apprentice training along with them. He lashed his tail angrily as he came to the river, knowing that thinking of his dear Foxkit would do him no good now. She's gone, a voice in his head mewed harshly, and its your fault.

The gray-and-white tom's vision blurred as he tried to fight back the rising wave of sadness that threatened to drown him. Fogpaw collapsed on the riverbed, his sides heaving as he lie among the reeds. He hadn't thought of his foster littermate in a while but the rain, the rain that Foxkit always loved, had brought the memory of her rushing back to him. He glanced around, trying to scent the air for any other RiverClan cats nearby, but could smell none. He hoped the dismal weather would keep them in camp, for this was the last way he wanted any of his Clanmates to find him.

It was as if StarClan were weeping for all the tiny ginger kit could have been as the apprentice, now looking like a small, helpless scrap of gray and white fur, curled up among the reeds under the driving rain. Fogpaw tucked his nose under his tail in a last attempt to hide from the memory of his beloved friend.

[Amber]

Stupid rain, stupid swimming lesson, stupid everything. Nothing she did during her 'training' session had worked out. Her legs were just too short to paddle well. Her whole body was just too small. It seriously limited her to doing what she wanted to. Those stupid other she-kits would be able to swim before she could. She had gotten it for a few seconds, but her weak body wouldn't let her do anything. Ivypaw was going to go nuts when she found out what she had done. Her big sister would probably yell at her for who knows how long. And that is exactly why she wasn't going back to camp.

Her short ginger fur was plastered over her small body, really showing her scrawny appearance. Well if anyone came along they would probably laugh at her, she looked pathetic. She didn't look anything like any of the apprentices, and she was only a moon away from becoming one herself. Stupid Starclan for allowing her to be born early, and being the only one to survive her litter. Staying out in the rain would make her sick, she just knew it...especially since she was freezing from being nearly drowned in the river.

The tiny kit made her way further and further away from camp. She didn't want to see anyone right now. It wasn't like she would talk to anyone anyway. She still kept silent, the only cat who knew she could talk was Skunkkit. But he was her friend, as of now no one else was worthy enough. Everyone was too happy about everything.

Her eyes blinked as she scanned where her paws had led her. Why was she just walking on the riverbed? Well at least it was helping her clear her head. Looking at the ground as she walked, she hoped she could just walk off all of her pain and sorrow.

[/justify][/blockquote]

[mushu]

Fogpaw blinked, flinching as he took in the cat plodding slowly towards him. His green eyes hungrily drank in the long, ginger pelt that was plastered to the little cat's body and her bright, emerald eyes.

He got to his paws, crouching down in the reeds and drawing himself forward as if he were stalking forest prey. The gray and white apprentice moved ever so slowly, as if he making any sudden movement would cause the cat to vanish.

"Foxkit?" His broken whisper was barely audible over the driving rain and rushing river. Fogpaw could feel his vision blurring again as he foolishly allowed his mind to carry him away. Could it really be her? Has StarClan somehow brought her back to me and to RiverClan to live the life she deserved? He moved forward again, ignoring the way his soaked pelt pressed against his skin, making him shiver. She'll train alongside me and become an apprentice the Clan can be proud of. I'll no longer avoid others' company... She always had a way of attracting a lot of attention. We could hunt and swim and share tongues together... I won't be alone anymore.

At the last thought, Fogpaw was thrust back into the real world. The wandering kit's eyes were green and Foxkit's had always been the most beautiful amber. Her tail wasn't nearly bushy enough to be his former denmate's. And no matter the power of StarClan, they could not bring back a dead cat.

For a moment, Fogpaw almost felt as if he were losing Foxkit all over again. Then he realized that was a kit! What was a kit doing out here? ... Much less in the pouring rain? She could be asking me the same question, he thought silently.

Shaking his dripping pelt, Fogpaw bounded towards her and soon realized it was Hollykit. Despite the clear differences between she and his deceased friend, he was surprised still at the resemblance.

"Hollykit! What in the name of StarClan are you doing out here?" Fogpaw's concerned mew surprised even himself, and he was taken aback for a moment, "You should get back to camp... Actually, we both should before we turn into icicles and fall in the river." He mewoed dryly, but he doubted Hollykit even heard. Why listen if you weren't about to talk?

[Amber]

As she looked up toward the sky, after stopping for a brief second, she began to think about her sister. Sure Ivypaw would yell at her for being out here in the rain, much less being out of camp, but she couldn't help to imagine what Cloverpaw would say. Her eldest sister had died a half moon ago, and it had shaken the kit. Cloverpaw was her protector, she had always done everything for Hollykit. She had made sure Hollykit was fed, and if Hollykit didn't want to spend a night alone, Cloverpaw would curl up around the small kit. Hollykit missed those days, her nest now felt so empty.

Was Cloverpaw in StarClan now? Yes, she had to be. She was there with all of their siblings, and their parents. Her sister would be well taken care of. Hollykit had a goal now. She would be the first cat in her family to make it to warriorhood. Ivypaw, if not the medicine cat apprentice, would probably be close to that title, but her sister had chosen a different path. Though Hollykit was small, she had the determination to be a warrior, that's all that mattered. And she was almost halfway there. She would be an apprentice in a moon.

Continuing on the path to nowhere, she suddenly felt the cold. She had been ignoring it quite well until this point, but it seemed as if her body was starting to give out on her. Her paws felt heavy, and still felt raw from clawing the rocks to save herself. Not to mention the rest of her body was just aching. Okay, this was the worst idea she had ever had.

She stopped only when she heard a stern voice...she had been found. Looking up she saw it was one of the older apprentices, Fogpaw. She remembered being introduced by Cloverpaw. And wait, was that concern she detected from his voice. Her face was now full of confusion. Why did he care that she was out here? Hollykit rolled her eyes. She didn't care about going back to camp. The silent kit let him continue talking, only half listening. With a tiny paw, she pointed to the river, hoping that would suffice as an answer. Her paw wasn't able to stay up for too long, before she plopped to the ground exhausted. She yawned and looked at Fogpaw. Wait, what was he doing out here?

[mushu]

Fogpaw watched in surprise as the ginger kit gestured with her paw to the river, realizing, with a pang of sadness, she wouldn't say it aloud. He saw the surprise, identical to his own, in her eyes at his concern, but he ignored it... He pushed it away like he did everything else.

"You've been swimming?" He asked incredulously, his green eyes wide as she collapsed before him. Fogpaw was transported back to a moment in late leaf-fall when Hollykit's older sister had introduced him to the kit. The gray-and-white apprentice recalled how protective and caring Cloverpaw had been of her younger sister and he suddenly wondered who was protecting the small, ginger she-cat now... Ignoring that thought as well, he remembered how small she had been back then. Gazing down at her, he realized how much bigger her fluffy, ginger fur had made her look. Now, as Hollykit lie before him looking nothing less than bedraggled and utterly exhausted, she seemed so much smaller than he remembered her being, even back then.

He was jolted back into the present by the look she gave him. It was questioning and, however small Hollykit might have appeared, demanded an answer. Fogpaw glanced away, wondering why in the name of StarClan he was so in awe of a kit's gaze. Maybe it was how easily her message was presented by merely the shimmer in her emerald eyes that shook him so...

"I've been hunting." He growled, narrowing his eyes at Hollykit as he silently asked himself why he felt the need to answer her unspoken question... And he soon realized he did not know. Craning his neck, he leaned down to give her a few rough licks on top of the head, praying she would stop looking so cold and miserable. Fogpaw knew Hollykit wasn't too keen on returning to camp and he had to admit, neither was he... Even if he could not remember why.

[Amber]

Hollykit was wishing she had Ivypaw by her side at the moment, her sister would be able to translate what she was saying. It was a little difficult to talk, her way, around other cats. That was partially the reason she just stayed away from other cats. They just didn't understand what she was going through. It took a bit for her to trust anyone, obviously. Even though she trusted her sister, she still didn't ever talk to Cloverpaw. This is her biggest regret. Cloverpaw died without hearing her speak. And it wasn't fair to speak to Ivypaw...not when Cloverpaw didn't hear her.

Something was different about this tom, unlike the rest of the cats in the Clan. He looked at her like she was someone different. But who? It seemed he was more like she was. He knew what pain was. He knew how cruel it was to lose the ones you love.

The look in his eyes told all when she 'said' she had gone swimming. She nodded in confirmation, letting Fogpaw know he had been correct. What was so hard about believing she had been swimming. All RiverClan cats learned how to swim, she was just starting a little early. It would take that extra practice with her. Hollykit soon found him looking at her. Was there something on her pelt? Oh wait, she was wet...and her fur wasn't as fluffy..but what could that..he saw that her fur covered the majority of her body. Without it fluffed out she looked scrawny and unhealthy. Of course, this is why she stayed away from getting wet. She remembered now.

Ahh, so Fogpaw had been hunting. She looked around, wondering where he had been hunting. She wished she could just talk to him, but she didn't know what he was truely like. Maybe one day she could talk to him. She was glad he didn't mention going back to camp again, she would have refused. But then, she felt something on her fur. Was that a tongue? Fogpaw was trying to help her warm up? If she wasn't so cold she would complain, but it felt soothing, and she found herself purring slightly. Oh no, she did not purr. Quickly realizing what she had done, she pulled back. She didn't need to get close to anyone, she just couldn't. No one else in her life needed to die.

[mushu]

Fogpaw knew he had seen it in her eyes. Understanding. As she drew back from him, he knew why. Of course he knew why. He had never known his parents. His dearest friend had been stolen from him when they were merely kits. He knew Hollykit had lost Cloverpaw but he never considered her loss to be just as earth-shattering as his... He had been living in his own broken, little world for quite a while now.

She didn't want to get close to anyone because it would mean losing them in the end. He knew she felt this way because he knew it himself to be true. Maybe that's why he found it so easy to decipher her words by merely looking her in the eye... Because he knew how it felt to be alone.

"You're a kit, you don't want to drown before you've become an apprentice, do you?" The gray-and-white apprentice replied evenly to her reproachful stare following his remark. He suddenly felt himself desperately wishing she would speak. What would her voice sound like? High-pitched and squeaky? Fogpaw impatiently shook the thought from his mind. Why should she speak to anyone, much less him?

But despite her reluctance to allow him near her, he had heard her purr. Hollykit could not take that back.. Whether foolishly or bravely, he ignored the way her green eyes shone almost fearfully and drew nearer to her again. Taking a deep breath, he curled his body around her and hoped she saw it only as trying to warm her up. Just because he was attempting to prevent her from catching a cold didn't mean she had to trust him. It didn't mean they had to grow close. It was what any other cat would do... Protecting kits was part of the warrior code.

"If you get sick, Ivypaw will kill me."